Saturday, October 3, 2015

Helping a Friend through a Breakup

If you have a friend who is going through a breakup, it can sometimes be difficult to figure out exactly what to do or say to help her out. You know that you should listen and “be there for her,” but there some more concrete and constructive things you can do. Here is a list of five ways you can support a friend who’s going through a breakup to help her move on from the pain and get back into the swing of a happy, fulfilling life.

1. Have a girls’ night. After a breakup, your friend will find herself in the absence of the person she probably spent most of her time with, and she will probably feel lonely and unsure of how she will spend her free time. Though it might sound trite, it can do wonders. Invite over only her closest girlfriends in the world. Rent some action movies that have nothing to do with romance, eat cookie dough, drink wine, and just relax. A girls’ night will remind her that she has a social life outside of her relationship and friends who will support her as she goes through her breakup.

2. Help her accomplish a goal. After a breakup, your friend’s world may seem as though it’s ending. To remedy this, ask her to think of a goal – something she’s wanted to do for a while. Even if it seems completely unattainable, remind her that even the loftiest of goals can be broken up into baby steps. Ask her to identify the first step of her goal, and then help her to accomplish it. Maybe she’s always wanted to learn Spanish and you sign up for a class with her. Maybe she’s always wanted to visit Ireland, and you help her create a budget and plan for saving the money. Whatever the case, accomplishing a goal – or taking a step toward an ultimate goal – will help her realize that she has freedom to do things with her life she may only have dreamed of.

3. Give her a problem to solve. After a breakup, your friend may feel as though her life is out of her control. Giving her a problem to solve will help her to feel productive and in control of something. You could take her to the mall to help you pick out the perfect outfit for an upcoming event, or you could ask her to help you rearrange the furniture in your living room. Alternatively, you could help her conquer a project, such as organizing her desk or cleaning out her closet. Whatever problem she chooses to solve, it will hopefully lead to higher sense of purpose and self-confidence.

4. Take up a new hobby together. After a breakup, your friend may be looking for something to distract her and enrich her life. One excellent way to accomplish this is to take up a hobby, and you could support her by taking that hobby up with her. Brainstorm ideas of hobbies you might both be interested in pursuing. From crafts such as knitting or jewelry making, to service such as volunteering at an animal shelter, there are countless hobbies to choose from. Not only will this distract your friend, but it will help her to become a more dynamic person – and that will certainly be in her favor when she gets back on out on the dating scene!

5. Take her out of town. After a breakup, sometimes all you need is to get away. Plan a day trip or weekend getaway for your friend. Make it a fun trip, such as to the closest big city or a nearby amusement park, or a relaxing trip, such as to a spa or scenic mountain town. Getting away will help her to feel rejuvenated and refreshed, give her some space from her grief, and hopefully provide the fresh perspective she needs to take her new life by storm.

There is nothing more valuable to a girl who’s going through a breakup than a good friend who knows how to get her back on her feet. With your help, your friend can begin to put her pain behind her and get her life on track to being better than ever!

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