Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Get an "A" in Communication by Avoiding These 5 Pitfalls

It's funny how our communication has changed since my husband and I have been married. It seems like when we were dating, we were always kind and loving with one another. We had all the patience in the world. But I guess something happens when you throw bills, a house, and a kid into the mix - something called stress, perhaps - and our communication skills have seemed to go downhill, leaving us both wounded and even worse equipped to face life's demands as a united front. If you want to get an "A" for communication in your marriage, avoid the following five pitfalls.

Assuming negative intent
 
My husband and I both have the tendency to automatically assume our comments are meant to attack one another, when most of the time, we are innocent of that crime. We end up getting defensive against each other for no reason at all. A former coworker had a sign hanging in his office that read: "Always assume positive intent." That attitude can go a long way in preventing oversensitivity in a relationship.

Accusations
 
"Well, that would have never happened if you hadn't…" In my experience, nothing stings more than a loved one casting blame. It leads to guilt, defensiveness, and oftentimes, accusations back. Put the kibosh on outright or passive-aggressive accusations. Instead, take joint responsibility for everything in your relationship, or, if something really is your partner's fault, don't bring it up in an accusatory tone.

Read the full article >>>

No comments:

Post a Comment