Sunday, June 17, 2012

Lessons About Sex to Teaching Your Teenage Daughter

In honor of Father's Day, here is an article for all those with daughters. My dad tried to teach me to wait until I was married to have sex. I didn't listen, but I wish I had. Maybe this phrasing would have helped.

There are many things in life I had to learn from experience. I had to learn that driving too fast on a country road with a dirt shoulder could lead to spinning into a fishtail and getting a flat tire. I had to learn that despite how attached you are to one major when you first enter college, you will probably end up doing something completely different with your life.

But something I wish I hadn't learned from experience is the view of sex I have now as compared to my freshman year of college. Learning these things from experience left permanent wounds and led to mistakes that I'll never be able to take back. While your teenage daughter might not respond to scare tactics or take "because I said so" as a reason to save sex for marriage, perhaps these three lessons - which I learned the hard way - might reach her heart.

"Forever" doesn't really mean "forever" until you're married.

It's so easy to believe that you're going to be with a boyfriend forever, and often for good reason. I was given two promise rings and an engagement ring before I even met my current husband, so I know the feeling well. But the truth is, "forever" isn't really forever until your boyfriend has become your husband - a person who has made a legal and spiritual promise to stick with you and love you for the rest of your life, forsaking all others. If you figure it doesn't matter if you have sex before marriage because you're already with the person you're going to marry, consider the possibility that anything could happen between here and the altar.

It hurts to know there have been others.

Consider your future spouse when you're contemplating having sex with someone to whom you're not married. It will probably hurt him - whether or not he admits it - to know that you gave a piece of yourself away to another person before you promised to give your whole self to him. And if the man you are with will eventually get married, you are taking something away from his future spouse, as well. Although it's now commonplace for people to have sex outside of marriage, imagine how much more meaningful it would make your wedding night to know neither of you had ever shared that intimate experience with anyone else.

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